Thursday, March 22, 2007
SOMETHING is always better than Nothing
I watched a snip-it of Larry King Live last night, in which the topic of discussion was *Autism*. A blurb was displaying at the bottom of the screen that says *1 in 94 boys* will be dx with Autism and that statistic of Autism will be that higher than cancer, AIDS (and a few more I can't remember). 1 in 94 boys! Last night, Toni Braxon (singer) and Gary Cole (actor from Office Space) both with children dx with Autism as well as Bill Cosby speaking out for next month's National Autism Awareness month. My hubby and I still thinking how we can raise the awareness, even is we can do something small b/c SOMETHING is always better than Nothing!!!!
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
HOW...WHY...COULD IT BE?
I recently read a post yesterday re: Mercury Poisoning in the immunization shots. Speculations have come and gone re: that Autism could be a result from certain immunizations.
I have NO substantial resources to back this up, but after talking to several doctors/psycholigist during this journey with my son...many (dr's/researchers) seem to be disregarding the vac. shots may have something to do w/ the rising #'s of autism, but w/ the stats being 1 in 150 kids will be dx'd w/ autism, there has to be a more viable answer than *it just happens*. Why all of a sudden this uprise? All I want is an answer. After this journey w/ my son, I lagged on my daughters vac's (which, btw, I'm caught up now with), but I was so distraught. I gained a mistrust in the dr's we met with.
Why is that in many cases, after age 2 that all of sudden, kids digress to exhibiting Autistic traits? Kids are on track developmentally, then all of a sudden become withdrawn? Kids are talking, then all of a sudden, age 2, what was once a healthy vocabulary at an age 2 level, now becomes a almost non-existent vocabulary and become withdrawn, but seem to be healthy othersise? What is interesting, is how some meds work on some kids, but not on others. We all react physiologically different to different meds. Wouldn't that somehow be the same for vac. shots? I'm not trained medically, of course, but I've pondered on this on many many nights.
My mother and father are from the Philippines and during their time growing up, they weren't privvy to the many vac shots that we have now. They survived, they're living, and otherwise, healthy!! What is the growing numbers of Autism in other countries? It seems VERY prevalant here in the U.S., but what about other countries? Do they have these same statistics? Are our children being victims for unnecessary vac shots?
I just would like SOME answer as to why? Parents who are going through this same journey deserve some answer, relief, weight lifted up from their heavy hearts.
Thx again!
I have NO substantial resources to back this up, but after talking to several doctors/psycholigist during this journey with my son...many (dr's/researchers) seem to be disregarding the vac. shots may have something to do w/ the rising #'s of autism, but w/ the stats being 1 in 150 kids will be dx'd w/ autism, there has to be a more viable answer than *it just happens*. Why all of a sudden this uprise? All I want is an answer. After this journey w/ my son, I lagged on my daughters vac's (which, btw, I'm caught up now with), but I was so distraught. I gained a mistrust in the dr's we met with.
Why is that in many cases, after age 2 that all of sudden, kids digress to exhibiting Autistic traits? Kids are on track developmentally, then all of a sudden become withdrawn? Kids are talking, then all of a sudden, age 2, what was once a healthy vocabulary at an age 2 level, now becomes a almost non-existent vocabulary and become withdrawn, but seem to be healthy othersise? What is interesting, is how some meds work on some kids, but not on others. We all react physiologically different to different meds. Wouldn't that somehow be the same for vac. shots? I'm not trained medically, of course, but I've pondered on this on many many nights.
My mother and father are from the Philippines and during their time growing up, they weren't privvy to the many vac shots that we have now. They survived, they're living, and otherwise, healthy!! What is the growing numbers of Autism in other countries? It seems VERY prevalant here in the U.S., but what about other countries? Do they have these same statistics? Are our children being victims for unnecessary vac shots?
I just would like SOME answer as to why? Parents who are going through this same journey deserve some answer, relief, weight lifted up from their heavy hearts.
Thx again!
Monday, March 19, 2007
My King, My Hero, My Guy....
Today was a GREAT day! I'm all tuckered out, but still riding high from a great day.
Today was my son's dentist appointment. I blogged last week of his first check up. But today's appointment was for a first set of x-rays as well as his first cleaning! Let me tell you, I didn't know WHAT I was to expect. Usually in new settings, my son is ALL over the place. He gets really excited and wants to explore every nook and cranny in a new environment.
Well, we got to the office and checked in and he was AWESOME. We grabbed the Disney magazine and my son carefully examined each page and said aloud each Disney character he recognized. He sat the whole time until we were called in for our turn. The dentist greeted us and told us what he would be doing in today's visit, and what I REALLY liked was that he talked to me, as a parent, as to what I should expect, and the concerns I had and was just an overall GREAT guy. He really had a GREAT take on special needs children, and while listening to the parent, also assured us how he and his assts would be and that of course, that we get him in for his cleaning awake, not sedated and to, of course, be accustomed to seeing a dentist regularly, w/out the aid of a papoose and most importantly w/out sedating!
First, the x-rays. He was apprehensive about going with the dr. to the x-ray room, but willingly went along and let the dr. prop him up on the chair to put the vest on and everything. My son was getting scared when they were sticking in the x-ray bite in, so the first x-ray pic didn't take. So, the dr. tried again and was successful. By the time the dr. got to take the third x-ray, my son was helping the dr. put it in!! So...whew!!!!
We were then told to go into the room where they did the cleaning. When I walked in, they had the papoose laid out in the event should my son start becoming agitated and flailing his arms and the whole bit (since this particular dentist office did not sedate their patients). I, and the dental assts got my son to lay down and I was able to sit with my son on the chair. I told him that he was going to be okay and then asked if he wanted to hold my hands. He immediately said "yet" b/c he can't say his *S's* yet, so he put out his hands and I held them ever so tightly. They put on a pair of sunglasses on him so that the big light wouldn't bother him. And, they started to go to work! What a TROOPER! I was SO proud of him!! He didn't fuss at all. He was a little scared but we all kept giving him MUCH praise and told him what a GREAT job he was doing!!! The dental visit couldn't have gone any more perfect!! I admit, I was REALLY nervous about the appointment b/c I just didn't know how he'd do, and he was just absolutely perfect. Even before they were going to polish the fluoride on, the asst asked how he does with loud sounds, I said he does perfectly well, but if they could, maybe run the polishing drill by his hand, or even let his finger touch it so he would know where the sound was coming from. And, she did, and again, perfect! It was just an AWESOME day!!! He's my hero. Just goes to show...always give your kids the benefit of the doubt b/c they do excel and surprise us more times than we give them credit for.
GREAT day FOR SURE!!!!!
Today was my son's dentist appointment. I blogged last week of his first check up. But today's appointment was for a first set of x-rays as well as his first cleaning! Let me tell you, I didn't know WHAT I was to expect. Usually in new settings, my son is ALL over the place. He gets really excited and wants to explore every nook and cranny in a new environment.
Well, we got to the office and checked in and he was AWESOME. We grabbed the Disney magazine and my son carefully examined each page and said aloud each Disney character he recognized. He sat the whole time until we were called in for our turn. The dentist greeted us and told us what he would be doing in today's visit, and what I REALLY liked was that he talked to me, as a parent, as to what I should expect, and the concerns I had and was just an overall GREAT guy. He really had a GREAT take on special needs children, and while listening to the parent, also assured us how he and his assts would be and that of course, that we get him in for his cleaning awake, not sedated and to, of course, be accustomed to seeing a dentist regularly, w/out the aid of a papoose and most importantly w/out sedating!
First, the x-rays. He was apprehensive about going with the dr. to the x-ray room, but willingly went along and let the dr. prop him up on the chair to put the vest on and everything. My son was getting scared when they were sticking in the x-ray bite in, so the first x-ray pic didn't take. So, the dr. tried again and was successful. By the time the dr. got to take the third x-ray, my son was helping the dr. put it in!! So...whew!!!!
We were then told to go into the room where they did the cleaning. When I walked in, they had the papoose laid out in the event should my son start becoming agitated and flailing his arms and the whole bit (since this particular dentist office did not sedate their patients). I, and the dental assts got my son to lay down and I was able to sit with my son on the chair. I told him that he was going to be okay and then asked if he wanted to hold my hands. He immediately said "yet" b/c he can't say his *S's* yet, so he put out his hands and I held them ever so tightly. They put on a pair of sunglasses on him so that the big light wouldn't bother him. And, they started to go to work! What a TROOPER! I was SO proud of him!! He didn't fuss at all. He was a little scared but we all kept giving him MUCH praise and told him what a GREAT job he was doing!!! The dental visit couldn't have gone any more perfect!! I admit, I was REALLY nervous about the appointment b/c I just didn't know how he'd do, and he was just absolutely perfect. Even before they were going to polish the fluoride on, the asst asked how he does with loud sounds, I said he does perfectly well, but if they could, maybe run the polishing drill by his hand, or even let his finger touch it so he would know where the sound was coming from. And, she did, and again, perfect! It was just an AWESOME day!!! He's my hero. Just goes to show...always give your kids the benefit of the doubt b/c they do excel and surprise us more times than we give them credit for.
GREAT day FOR SURE!!!!!
Friday, March 16, 2007
Say No to Crack
OK, I'm sure this will be the last post for the day, but my son has become fascinated by cracking eggs. He had 3 eggs this morning. He watches me get breakfast ready every morning, if he's not otherwise distracted by Curious George, but today after breakfast, he went in the fridge and pulled out 3 more eggs. NOT to eat them, but to crack them. I cooked them, thinking he was hungry. He wasn't. He didn't want to eat them, just wanted to crack them. He tried again this afternoon. I need to hide the eggs.
NO THANK YOU!!
My son stayed home this whole week due to a bad sty he had developed. He had big meltdowns all the previous week and I just didn't want it to get worse or (sorry to get gross) have the sty break from crying and rubbing his eyes. Part of keeping home was the sty, but the other part was just the anxiety I'd been having with his meltdowns at school. So many transitions coming up, I'm having a tough time with them. In any case, it's been real nice having him home.
So, Friday is our *Pizza Day* in our household. As we were driving to get pizza, my son kept saying his best friend's name and pointing in the direction of the school. He kept saying "No pizza. No want Pizza. Want K*". I kept saying, "C'mon bud, it's pizza day. Don't you want pizza?" My son kept saying "no thank you, no pizza. want K*". One of his goals from his IEP is to develop more expressive language. Hey, it doesn't get ANY better than that! Ok, so he didn't talk in a *complete* sentence, but he expressed that he didn't want something and in turn, said what he DID want, which was his best friend. I admit, I cried in the car b/c it was such an accomplishment. I'm proud of him.
We've also encountered a slight glitch in his transportation, but I'm not going to let that bring my day down. It's already been a mediocre one at that, but that car ride earlier was such a treat.
So, Friday is our *Pizza Day* in our household. As we were driving to get pizza, my son kept saying his best friend's name and pointing in the direction of the school. He kept saying "No pizza. No want Pizza. Want K*". I kept saying, "C'mon bud, it's pizza day. Don't you want pizza?" My son kept saying "no thank you, no pizza. want K*". One of his goals from his IEP is to develop more expressive language. Hey, it doesn't get ANY better than that! Ok, so he didn't talk in a *complete* sentence, but he expressed that he didn't want something and in turn, said what he DID want, which was his best friend. I admit, I cried in the car b/c it was such an accomplishment. I'm proud of him.
We've also encountered a slight glitch in his transportation, but I'm not going to let that bring my day down. It's already been a mediocre one at that, but that car ride earlier was such a treat.
A Rant is a Rant...
I'm tired again. I feel borderline okay/down. The sun is out, starting to get warm, and I still feel like *blah*. I've been longing for Daylight Savings, and now that it's here, I don't know how to feel. Things are falling into place, but I guess today is an off day for me. Kids are great, all in good moods. This is the up/down roller coaster of emotions I go through. On top of that, my hubby has been working very hard, getting home late, so we don't get to catch up when he gets home. We're both tired at the end of the day. Glad today is Friday so we can start the weekend. Just thought I'd blog out whatever angst I've got inside and hopefully I can get the day started on the right foot.
Ciao for now...
Ciao for now...
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
What happens from here?
Ok, I'm on a roll with the blog thing, but something has been eating at me so feverishly these past few weeks now and I finally am able to put it into words.
As every one has been noticing in the media, that there is the sudden hype, reports, articles, what-have-you, on Autism. The statistics now show that what was once *1 in every 166* kids, have gone down to *1 in every 150* kids to be diagnosed with Autism. SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? This sudden increase and influx of kids diagnosed with Autism/PDD/Aspergers, where does that leave us (parents and kids)? What is going on here?
Yes, there are special schools that are specifically designed for those diagnosed with Autism, but how can the average-joe parent afford it? I know that *I* can't afford it. So, my son is in special education day school, provided by the public school system. That's not a problem. I am GRATEFUL that he does have these services. However, with all of these new cases of Autism coming out, what does that mean for our special education classes? While teachers have gone thru college, getting their degrees in Special Education, it sounds too generalized for the public school system. Although I appreciate and value my son's teachers and teachers aides, they are not current with all facets of the autism spectrum. They are not aware that a child who may be autistic can exhibit traits of AD/HD and or feel like they're Oppositional Defiant. It's just another label the teachers give the kids, making us parents feel like failures. There is NOT a perfect *test* to assess for Autism. It's such a wide spectrum, but they narrow it down if the child exhibits at least 3 of the characteristics. I'm NOT knocking down the special education teachers, but I think with this influx of cases, what does that mean? It sounds like there will be an influx more students into Special Education? Does that mean that with all these children being diagnosed with Autism, that the resources and therapies will be more costly to parents who can not, in a sense, afford it? A new legislation was signed for more extensive research, but where does that leave us parents?
My son was in a class with more serious cases of Autism. He didn't fit in, b/c he was too social, but lacked the speech. He's in a class now, but he can't seem to follow the structure. He's stuck in b/t. What is it I'm supposed to do? I want to find something that is more appropriate for him, but if we can't afford a special school for him, what do we do? I don't want to hear *well, if you can't take care of your kids, you shouldn't have had them*. That's a moronic thing to say. These kids didn't ASK to be born with special needs. They're here, so what do we do?
I was watching the news this morning how more teachers are quitting due to violent and aggressive students in the classroom. A 14 year old student broke her teachers neck. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?? Could it be that the United States insists that with our economy, it's necessary to have a dual income household. And, that the average person does not necessarily work 40 hours a week, but we're feeling the pressure to put in 50 to 60 hours a week just to catch up on everything. And more so, while both parents are working excessive hours a week to survive and support themselves and their families, where are the children? At daycares or whatnot. In the report, they mentioned that this new generation lacks the discipline and the respect for authoritative figures. Why is that? Because the parents have to WORK!! What happened to teaching kids the simple act of saying "Thank you" and "Please" and to "Not Talk Back to your elders". I got a good ol' spanking when I was disrespectful to any of my elders. Not only do we not have the time to teach our kids these simple, yet important lessons in life, when we're so tired from a long day at work, not to mention dealing with a commute as well, we also lack the patience.
Please forgive me, I'm NOT speaking for ALL parents, but I am speaking for SOME parents, who I DO hope know where I am coming from. I don't believe I'm TOO off the mark. So please, enlighten me, someone, please? What is our children's future to be like?
As every one has been noticing in the media, that there is the sudden hype, reports, articles, what-have-you, on Autism. The statistics now show that what was once *1 in every 166* kids, have gone down to *1 in every 150* kids to be diagnosed with Autism. SO WHAT DOES THAT MEAN? This sudden increase and influx of kids diagnosed with Autism/PDD/Aspergers, where does that leave us (parents and kids)? What is going on here?
Yes, there are special schools that are specifically designed for those diagnosed with Autism, but how can the average-joe parent afford it? I know that *I* can't afford it. So, my son is in special education day school, provided by the public school system. That's not a problem. I am GRATEFUL that he does have these services. However, with all of these new cases of Autism coming out, what does that mean for our special education classes? While teachers have gone thru college, getting their degrees in Special Education, it sounds too generalized for the public school system. Although I appreciate and value my son's teachers and teachers aides, they are not current with all facets of the autism spectrum. They are not aware that a child who may be autistic can exhibit traits of AD/HD and or feel like they're Oppositional Defiant. It's just another label the teachers give the kids, making us parents feel like failures. There is NOT a perfect *test* to assess for Autism. It's such a wide spectrum, but they narrow it down if the child exhibits at least 3 of the characteristics. I'm NOT knocking down the special education teachers, but I think with this influx of cases, what does that mean? It sounds like there will be an influx more students into Special Education? Does that mean that with all these children being diagnosed with Autism, that the resources and therapies will be more costly to parents who can not, in a sense, afford it? A new legislation was signed for more extensive research, but where does that leave us parents?
My son was in a class with more serious cases of Autism. He didn't fit in, b/c he was too social, but lacked the speech. He's in a class now, but he can't seem to follow the structure. He's stuck in b/t. What is it I'm supposed to do? I want to find something that is more appropriate for him, but if we can't afford a special school for him, what do we do? I don't want to hear *well, if you can't take care of your kids, you shouldn't have had them*. That's a moronic thing to say. These kids didn't ASK to be born with special needs. They're here, so what do we do?
I was watching the news this morning how more teachers are quitting due to violent and aggressive students in the classroom. A 14 year old student broke her teachers neck. WHAT IS UP WITH THAT?? Could it be that the United States insists that with our economy, it's necessary to have a dual income household. And, that the average person does not necessarily work 40 hours a week, but we're feeling the pressure to put in 50 to 60 hours a week just to catch up on everything. And more so, while both parents are working excessive hours a week to survive and support themselves and their families, where are the children? At daycares or whatnot. In the report, they mentioned that this new generation lacks the discipline and the respect for authoritative figures. Why is that? Because the parents have to WORK!! What happened to teaching kids the simple act of saying "Thank you" and "Please" and to "Not Talk Back to your elders". I got a good ol' spanking when I was disrespectful to any of my elders. Not only do we not have the time to teach our kids these simple, yet important lessons in life, when we're so tired from a long day at work, not to mention dealing with a commute as well, we also lack the patience.
Please forgive me, I'm NOT speaking for ALL parents, but I am speaking for SOME parents, who I DO hope know where I am coming from. I don't believe I'm TOO off the mark. So please, enlighten me, someone, please? What is our children's future to be like?
(Drum Roll Please)....The IEP that is a Success!!
Today was my son's *emergency IEP* and with much trepidation, I just wasn't quite sure what the outcome would be. But, I would have to say that it was very much a success and had a very positive outcome.
The items to be addressed were a) transportation b) 1 on 1 aid c) current needs and d) the 2007-2008 school year.
The *transportation part was a breeze. All the *i's* were dotted, and all the *t's* crossed, so we were good to go. Just waiting for the gal fr: the Trans. Dept. from the district to call!
Re: an *1 on 1 aid* was resolved by being able to have met at a happy medium. Although the 1-on-1 aid was my idea, the district was able to meet me and my son's teachers half way by given the approval for an additional aide to assist within the classroom for 2 hrs/every day. It surely didn't hurt to ask! So...I asked and we were able to meet at a place where the district could assist with current needs while putting some ease on my mind. I also thought I might ask if it would be out of the question to have a male aide be available. I certainly don't want to have any issues with gender discrimination, but I thought it might be helpful to have a male figure in the classroom. Again, it didn't hurt to ask. It was written in the addendum to the IEP, and we'll certainly see what the outcome is.
The behavioral issue/plan was reviewed and re-evaluated as having not been successful, and so the behavioral plan will be further assessed with the districts behavioral team and will hopefully have the team come in and come up with a more effective plan.
Last, but not least, the 2007-2008 school year was brought up. My son will continue on to special education. At first, I think my son's teacher and the district Resource Specialist (D.S.R.) seemed a bit nervous bringing it up, but I immediately put their minds to rest and right away mentioned that I certainly did not want to mainstream my son if he was not ready. My belief is, if I mainstreamed my son when he wasn't ready, I would NEVER want my son to feel as though he failed us, when in reality, it was US who failed him. My hubby and I are VERY comfortable that our son will be in special ed just a while longer. He needs to work on the structure and the skills in order to mainstream and however long that takes, we'll be there supporting him 100% of the way.
I am VERY thankful as to how the IEP turned out. My son's teacher and the D.R.S., in return, had very nice things to say to me in re: of my attitude and open mind with my son's school experiences and challenges and having been working together as a team together. I believe that if we, as parents, are able to work cohesively together (and we're fortunate if parents and our children's teachers have a good working relationship), it'll benefit all of us. After all, aside from us (parents), the teachers see our children a lot as well. One thing I learned from a PHP staff member at a recent meeting was, *Never Burn Your Bridges w/ ANYONE*. It's TRUE. You just NEVER know when you might need to use that person as a resource again. We, as parents, need to FIGHT for our children's rights in school, but fight the RIGHT fight, not just *to* fight.
I'm feeling much more at ease and what it comes down to is, my son's success. And, w e just need to find those right tools to help him down that road of success.
Until another day...
The items to be addressed were a) transportation b) 1 on 1 aid c) current needs and d) the 2007-2008 school year.
The *transportation part was a breeze. All the *i's* were dotted, and all the *t's* crossed, so we were good to go. Just waiting for the gal fr: the Trans. Dept. from the district to call!
Re: an *1 on 1 aid* was resolved by being able to have met at a happy medium. Although the 1-on-1 aid was my idea, the district was able to meet me and my son's teachers half way by given the approval for an additional aide to assist within the classroom for 2 hrs/every day. It surely didn't hurt to ask! So...I asked and we were able to meet at a place where the district could assist with current needs while putting some ease on my mind. I also thought I might ask if it would be out of the question to have a male aide be available. I certainly don't want to have any issues with gender discrimination, but I thought it might be helpful to have a male figure in the classroom. Again, it didn't hurt to ask. It was written in the addendum to the IEP, and we'll certainly see what the outcome is.
The behavioral issue/plan was reviewed and re-evaluated as having not been successful, and so the behavioral plan will be further assessed with the districts behavioral team and will hopefully have the team come in and come up with a more effective plan.
Last, but not least, the 2007-2008 school year was brought up. My son will continue on to special education. At first, I think my son's teacher and the district Resource Specialist (D.S.R.) seemed a bit nervous bringing it up, but I immediately put their minds to rest and right away mentioned that I certainly did not want to mainstream my son if he was not ready. My belief is, if I mainstreamed my son when he wasn't ready, I would NEVER want my son to feel as though he failed us, when in reality, it was US who failed him. My hubby and I are VERY comfortable that our son will be in special ed just a while longer. He needs to work on the structure and the skills in order to mainstream and however long that takes, we'll be there supporting him 100% of the way.
I am VERY thankful as to how the IEP turned out. My son's teacher and the D.R.S., in return, had very nice things to say to me in re: of my attitude and open mind with my son's school experiences and challenges and having been working together as a team together. I believe that if we, as parents, are able to work cohesively together (and we're fortunate if parents and our children's teachers have a good working relationship), it'll benefit all of us. After all, aside from us (parents), the teachers see our children a lot as well. One thing I learned from a PHP staff member at a recent meeting was, *Never Burn Your Bridges w/ ANYONE*. It's TRUE. You just NEVER know when you might need to use that person as a resource again. We, as parents, need to FIGHT for our children's rights in school, but fight the RIGHT fight, not just *to* fight.
I'm feeling much more at ease and what it comes down to is, my son's success. And, w e just need to find those right tools to help him down that road of success.
Until another day...
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
SAY "AAAHHHHHHH"
Good news. We found a pediatric dentist who also happens see children who have special needs. Anywhere from mental retardation to AD/HD to Autism Whew!! Good news!
Even more so...he and his staff were excellent!! I couldn't have been more pleased!!! He told me that we did a GREAT thing by bringing our son in now and to get him familiar with getting his teeth cleaned w/out the aid of sedating. His particular office did not sedate their patients, but that's GREAT! It's important for kids this young not to be sedated b/c a) it could potentially be dangerous b) I don't want him to have to rely that every visit will be a sedated one.
At first, my son was scared, but we finally got him into a position where the dentist was able to perform an examination. The dr.'s asst was awesome, and you could just tell that they both have the expertise to handle my VERY active son. I didn't get any disapproving looks from my son's behavior. The dr was genuinely more concerned with starting my son in the habit of becoming comfortable at a dentist office. He said that if we didn't start when we did, that as an adult, there would be a bigger problem w/ dental visits and getting him to go, and the dr was right!
Anyway, no cavities. YAY! It could be b/c my son doesn't really like candy, so we're fortunate in that respect. So, we're going in next week to get his teeth cleaned. YAY! Wish us luck!
Even more so...he and his staff were excellent!! I couldn't have been more pleased!!! He told me that we did a GREAT thing by bringing our son in now and to get him familiar with getting his teeth cleaned w/out the aid of sedating. His particular office did not sedate their patients, but that's GREAT! It's important for kids this young not to be sedated b/c a) it could potentially be dangerous b) I don't want him to have to rely that every visit will be a sedated one.
At first, my son was scared, but we finally got him into a position where the dentist was able to perform an examination. The dr.'s asst was awesome, and you could just tell that they both have the expertise to handle my VERY active son. I didn't get any disapproving looks from my son's behavior. The dr was genuinely more concerned with starting my son in the habit of becoming comfortable at a dentist office. He said that if we didn't start when we did, that as an adult, there would be a bigger problem w/ dental visits and getting him to go, and the dr was right!
Anyway, no cavities. YAY! It could be b/c my son doesn't really like candy, so we're fortunate in that respect. So, we're going in next week to get his teeth cleaned. YAY! Wish us luck!
Monday, March 12, 2007
Smile, what's the use of crying?
For some reason, I was humming this tune this morning. What an appropriate song to go describe my feelings about the experiences I have. I hope that this song comforts other parents as well!!!
Smile ~
(Nat King Cole/Words by John turner & Geoffrey Parsons and music by Charlie Chaplin
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
Smile ~
(Nat King Cole/Words by John turner & Geoffrey Parsons and music by Charlie Chaplin
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Meet Me at CafeMom!
So, I attended a support group last Thurs. Needless to say, it was also the last one the host would be hosting one. So, my husband and I are discussing the possibility of hosting one. It's so important for myself and for other parents to physically meet each other and vent. Keep you posted on this!!
However, on the bright side, I ran into a site, CafeMom.com which is a *MySpace* for moms, which have different groups. I was able to link up to the PDD/Aspergers/Autism group. For the FIRST time, I was able to feel like I was *home*. I'm tired of reading information on the web and it WAS/IS refreshing to read/hear experiences from other moms, and from strangers to boot! My personal friends, my gal pals, as I like to refer them to, are a GOD-SEND, but at the same time, it's difficult for some of them to relate to the experiences that I have. Thank you to the ladies I've been able to connect and chat with. You, too, are a God-send. Pls forgive me if some of you are put off w/ my reference to God. I do not like to push my religious affiliation on to anyone. So, you are all a *higher presence-send* to me.
Lately, I've been feeling like I've been on a roller coaster of emotions. One moment I can be feeling great and positive. Two seconds later, I'm in doubt and distressed. It's AWFUL! It's not about to get easier, challenging days ahead, but I'm trying to be optimistic and praying the better days outweigh the challenging days.
On a brighter note...my son's speech has been increasing! Weird enough to mention is that 3 weeks ago, we started my son on multi-vitamins, Flinstone Gummy Bears. Now, by MY views, he's a picky eater. Chicken nuggets, cheese pizza, bananas, eggs, waffles, chips, crackers, Jack in the Box Breakfast Jacks and J/B Chicken Sandwiches are his main staple of foods. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but in a nutshell, that's what he eats. As a parent, I feel GUILTY for giving him those foods, but if he eats, then I'm satisfied. So, LUCKILY, he took a liking to the multi-vitamins b/c it resembles candy! (We tell him every day to take his *candy* and thankfully, it's worked). Since he's been taking his vitamins, his speech has increased. Even talking in 4 to 5 word sentences. For him, that's a definite accomplishment. He's becoming more expressive and letting us know what he wants/needs. We're on the road to success with bumpy hills ahead. That's ok. Everything and every one is a work in progress, right?
Until another day...
However, on the bright side, I ran into a site, CafeMom.com which is a *MySpace* for moms, which have different groups. I was able to link up to the PDD/Aspergers/Autism group. For the FIRST time, I was able to feel like I was *home*. I'm tired of reading information on the web and it WAS/IS refreshing to read/hear experiences from other moms, and from strangers to boot! My personal friends, my gal pals, as I like to refer them to, are a GOD-SEND, but at the same time, it's difficult for some of them to relate to the experiences that I have. Thank you to the ladies I've been able to connect and chat with. You, too, are a God-send. Pls forgive me if some of you are put off w/ my reference to God. I do not like to push my religious affiliation on to anyone. So, you are all a *higher presence-send* to me.
Lately, I've been feeling like I've been on a roller coaster of emotions. One moment I can be feeling great and positive. Two seconds later, I'm in doubt and distressed. It's AWFUL! It's not about to get easier, challenging days ahead, but I'm trying to be optimistic and praying the better days outweigh the challenging days.
On a brighter note...my son's speech has been increasing! Weird enough to mention is that 3 weeks ago, we started my son on multi-vitamins, Flinstone Gummy Bears. Now, by MY views, he's a picky eater. Chicken nuggets, cheese pizza, bananas, eggs, waffles, chips, crackers, Jack in the Box Breakfast Jacks and J/B Chicken Sandwiches are his main staple of foods. I'm sure I'm forgetting something, but in a nutshell, that's what he eats. As a parent, I feel GUILTY for giving him those foods, but if he eats, then I'm satisfied. So, LUCKILY, he took a liking to the multi-vitamins b/c it resembles candy! (We tell him every day to take his *candy* and thankfully, it's worked). Since he's been taking his vitamins, his speech has increased. Even talking in 4 to 5 word sentences. For him, that's a definite accomplishment. He's becoming more expressive and letting us know what he wants/needs. We're on the road to success with bumpy hills ahead. That's ok. Everything and every one is a work in progress, right?
Until another day...
Friday, March 9, 2007
Go Home!
It's been a while since my last post, but wanted to share.
My son has had some challenging days lately. Some transitions are coming up in the near future, but I'll save that for another blog. As I picked him up from school yesterday, my son was being somewhat resistant to leaving class. I was getting his backpack ready, and he came up to me and said, "Mommy, go home?". Ok, so my son may be 4 yrs old, but for someone who is speech delayed, it was a MAJOR accomplishment. It was fantastic. I was ecstatic and my eyes ALMOST filled with tears. I didn't want my son to get a mixed message from me, but I hugged him so tight and told him "Great job. Great sentence." Other than not being a not-so-perfect day at school, turned out a great day none-the-less.
Also, last night I attended my first Autism Support Group in a neighboring town/city. Needless to say, I also happened to had attended the last one that the host was putting on. So, again, it's back to square one trying to find a local one. Looks like I may have to start one on my own.
Until another day.
My son has had some challenging days lately. Some transitions are coming up in the near future, but I'll save that for another blog. As I picked him up from school yesterday, my son was being somewhat resistant to leaving class. I was getting his backpack ready, and he came up to me and said, "Mommy, go home?". Ok, so my son may be 4 yrs old, but for someone who is speech delayed, it was a MAJOR accomplishment. It was fantastic. I was ecstatic and my eyes ALMOST filled with tears. I didn't want my son to get a mixed message from me, but I hugged him so tight and told him "Great job. Great sentence." Other than not being a not-so-perfect day at school, turned out a great day none-the-less.
Also, last night I attended my first Autism Support Group in a neighboring town/city. Needless to say, I also happened to had attended the last one that the host was putting on. So, again, it's back to square one trying to find a local one. Looks like I may have to start one on my own.
Until another day.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Guilt...
I'm hesitant to write this because I don't know what can come out of it, other than for purposes of just venting. But, once I post this, I'll probably have guilt for just deciding to blog it anyway.
We're in desperate need of a second income and I have a VERY good shot at a job opportunity that I've been interviewing for. I've got a 3rd interview coming up (yup, a 3rd one) and they seem to like me. Hey, after getting a 3rd interview, that has to account for something, right?
But, b/c of my son's challenges, I've been trying to look for daycare for special needs children. My heart just starts beating faster just from blogging this, just from the stress of the idea of it. The other day, I went to a forum, just asking what other parents do in a situation such as this, where they have a special needs child, and how do it, if both parents work, and how they get by, and what they have done for child care for their special needs child. Someone replied, "please take care of your own children". I felt HORRIBLE! I felt like I was an incompetent parent, unable to care for my children. It's NOT that I don't want to take care of them, but what can we do if we need a second income? I don't want people to come back and more so, even bashing me for even having children if I am unable to take care of them, because that is NOT the case AT ALL. I DO take care of them (and I take GREAT care of them)...like no other loving parent can, but the fact is, my children are here, and I thank the special someone above that they are here. My son didn't ask to be born with special needs. It was something that happened, and we do what we need to do to survive. It's not that I WANT to work, but for now, I think it's necessary to have a 2nd income. I think it's healthy to want to work.
No ONE likes to have other parents raising their children, but we live in the Silicon Valley, where housing and renting is INSANE and costly. There are so many things that we could have done differently, but the fact of the matter is, this is where we live, this is the situation we're in. I am NOT asking for handouts and/or pity, but I am asking for a little grace to shed some light on what we can do to survive w/out stressing every moment of the day over our financial situation.
I'm SO excited to have interviewed, as I believe it is always good to interview even if you're not proactively looking...just for the practice and just to see how much one is still *marketable*. I am a GOOD person, who is helplessly flawed, but I do believe in making each day the best I can.
I am overwhelmed, I am stressed and more times than I'd like to verbally admit, I would like to know that someone is watching over us, guiding us, and paving us to have some breathing room. But again, the guilt overpowers me b/c as a parent of a special needs child, I feel like it is my fault (although the doctors say it isn't) that my son has special needs. I feel like things I have done in my past, my son being born with special needs was my punishment. I know that's a horrible thing to say, but I'm being honest and I couldn't live my life w/out being as honest as I can. It's life, right? Nothing is meant to be perfect, just little rocks and thorns to snag our way down the path of life.
Until another day...
We're in desperate need of a second income and I have a VERY good shot at a job opportunity that I've been interviewing for. I've got a 3rd interview coming up (yup, a 3rd one) and they seem to like me. Hey, after getting a 3rd interview, that has to account for something, right?
But, b/c of my son's challenges, I've been trying to look for daycare for special needs children. My heart just starts beating faster just from blogging this, just from the stress of the idea of it. The other day, I went to a forum, just asking what other parents do in a situation such as this, where they have a special needs child, and how do it, if both parents work, and how they get by, and what they have done for child care for their special needs child. Someone replied, "please take care of your own children". I felt HORRIBLE! I felt like I was an incompetent parent, unable to care for my children. It's NOT that I don't want to take care of them, but what can we do if we need a second income? I don't want people to come back and more so, even bashing me for even having children if I am unable to take care of them, because that is NOT the case AT ALL. I DO take care of them (and I take GREAT care of them)...like no other loving parent can, but the fact is, my children are here, and I thank the special someone above that they are here. My son didn't ask to be born with special needs. It was something that happened, and we do what we need to do to survive. It's not that I WANT to work, but for now, I think it's necessary to have a 2nd income. I think it's healthy to want to work.
No ONE likes to have other parents raising their children, but we live in the Silicon Valley, where housing and renting is INSANE and costly. There are so many things that we could have done differently, but the fact of the matter is, this is where we live, this is the situation we're in. I am NOT asking for handouts and/or pity, but I am asking for a little grace to shed some light on what we can do to survive w/out stressing every moment of the day over our financial situation.
I'm SO excited to have interviewed, as I believe it is always good to interview even if you're not proactively looking...just for the practice and just to see how much one is still *marketable*. I am a GOOD person, who is helplessly flawed, but I do believe in making each day the best I can.
I am overwhelmed, I am stressed and more times than I'd like to verbally admit, I would like to know that someone is watching over us, guiding us, and paving us to have some breathing room. But again, the guilt overpowers me b/c as a parent of a special needs child, I feel like it is my fault (although the doctors say it isn't) that my son has special needs. I feel like things I have done in my past, my son being born with special needs was my punishment. I know that's a horrible thing to say, but I'm being honest and I couldn't live my life w/out being as honest as I can. It's life, right? Nothing is meant to be perfect, just little rocks and thorns to snag our way down the path of life.
Until another day...
"Thass Nah-nah"
My son knows who we are (mommy, daddy and sister), but I never asked him about his "Nana". My folks were over visiting today and so I did the "who's that" game so he could say who we each were. When I pointed to my mom and asked him who she was, he said, "Thass Nah-nah!" very proudly! Yes, he's 4 years old, and he has been around my parents many, many times, but he has never called them by name. It was a true delight to hear my son say who exactly my mom was to him! He's speech delayed, so it is a GREAT accomplishment for him and a PROUD moment for us. It doesn't take much to bring a smile to my face.
On another note, I'm tired. I feel absolutely drained. I do have a tendency to exaggerate, but one of my resolutions in my adult life is to try to stop adding adjectives to make my life *colorful*. I could have said that I'm just *drained*, plain and simple, but *absolutely drained* definitely fits how I'm truly feeling right now. My mom suggested I take some iron to give me a little boost. I think I need it.
I do have a pretty big thing going on right now that I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed about. (There I go again, adding those extra adjectives). But, I've got a lot on my mind and I wish I could be more happy and excited about *it*, but I can't. I was hoping that 2007 would bring me great things, and I think it is about to, but I don't know how much I can be excited about something like this at the moment. I'll try to explain another day, when I feel like I've got a bit more energy.
Until another day...
On another note, I'm tired. I feel absolutely drained. I do have a tendency to exaggerate, but one of my resolutions in my adult life is to try to stop adding adjectives to make my life *colorful*. I could have said that I'm just *drained*, plain and simple, but *absolutely drained* definitely fits how I'm truly feeling right now. My mom suggested I take some iron to give me a little boost. I think I need it.
I do have a pretty big thing going on right now that I'm feeling pretty overwhelmed about. (There I go again, adding those extra adjectives). But, I've got a lot on my mind and I wish I could be more happy and excited about *it*, but I can't. I was hoping that 2007 would bring me great things, and I think it is about to, but I don't know how much I can be excited about something like this at the moment. I'll try to explain another day, when I feel like I've got a bit more energy.
Until another day...
Monday, February 19, 2007
He told me to Get Out...
Last night, as many nights, my husband and I discussed the possibility of our son being autistic and that *possibility* is still looming in the air without a *formal* diagnosis. Doing research and making (almost) daily calls for resources has become my most current *obsession*. I want to know what resources are available to us, and research on and off throughout the day.
My mother called me last night to let me know that there was a segment on "60 Minutes" about a family with autistic children. Right when I was about to tell my husband that my brother had recorded the episode for us, he interrupted me to tell me to watch was on "Home Extreme Makeover"...and it was a family who had 5 kids, all diagnosed with being within the Autism Spectrum.
We're still coming to grips with the possibility, but we're only dealing with 1 child with Autism. I could not imagine a family with all 5 kids being Autistic. It blows my mind with the alarming growing rate of numbers of kids diagnosed with Autism with no known cure, but only interventions and therapies. Our Development Pediatrician did mention that years and years before, many kids who were thought to be mentally challenged/retarded, were in fact, kids who were Autistic.
Back to "Home Extreme Makeover". So, after we watched "Home Extreme Makeover", where the mother was crying tears of joy for receiving a device that assists her son by pointing at pictures to tell her what he wants b/c he is not able to verbally express himself, I look over and my husband has tears in his eyes. He quietly gets up and goes to the our son's bedroom and he hugs my son and held him so tight, which my son affectionately receives and reciprocates the gesture. Although my son is speech delayed, he does have the ability of some speech, a limited vocabulary, but he does try his hardest to communicate with us with words.
Though his speech is delayed, I am grateful that from the 1 year that he has been in school, he has developed a bigger vocabulary than he had ever had or what he should have by this age. He is still unable to form more than a 3-word sentence together, but he does try very hard to communicate. He gets frustrated and we get frustrated too, but we keep working on it. We ask him what he wants, he points, we say the word, we have him repeat is, he says it, he repeats it again.
One word my son is VERY good at saying is "No" and "I can't". Great! Ha! On Friday, my son was being defiant and when he was being reprimanded, he ran into his room and shut the door on me so I couldn't get in. I managed to open the door, and he pointed at me and said "You" and then he pointed at the door and said, "Get out". I was in a bit of shock that he said that to me, but I admit I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing hard. I was just happy that he was talking. His saying "no" all the time is becoming wearisome, but he's managing to have interaction and a conversation with me (although, a defiant conversation at that), I'm okay with it. He's not the first 4 year old to say "no" back to their parents, so I'm dealing like any other parent would.
One thing that I'm VERY thankful for, is that my son longs for human touch. He loves to be around all of us, he loves hugs, he loves kisses and gives them right back. He loves to play with his sister and impatiently waits when she wakes up in the morning or from a nap so they can go create fun games together. I think in that respect, we are fortunate that should he be diagnosed or assessed as being Autistic, there are some traits that he doesn't have. Some characteristics of Autism is that they don't like to be touched nor held.
I woke up too early this morning and my usual one cup of coffee seems to have worn out. I washed/put away almost 6 loads of laundry this morning and I think I'm finally pooped. Thank goodness it's a 3-day weekend so my husband is home to help out today.
Well, until another time (or blog)...
My mother called me last night to let me know that there was a segment on "60 Minutes" about a family with autistic children. Right when I was about to tell my husband that my brother had recorded the episode for us, he interrupted me to tell me to watch was on "Home Extreme Makeover"...and it was a family who had 5 kids, all diagnosed with being within the Autism Spectrum.
We're still coming to grips with the possibility, but we're only dealing with 1 child with Autism. I could not imagine a family with all 5 kids being Autistic. It blows my mind with the alarming growing rate of numbers of kids diagnosed with Autism with no known cure, but only interventions and therapies. Our Development Pediatrician did mention that years and years before, many kids who were thought to be mentally challenged/retarded, were in fact, kids who were Autistic.
Back to "Home Extreme Makeover". So, after we watched "Home Extreme Makeover", where the mother was crying tears of joy for receiving a device that assists her son by pointing at pictures to tell her what he wants b/c he is not able to verbally express himself, I look over and my husband has tears in his eyes. He quietly gets up and goes to the our son's bedroom and he hugs my son and held him so tight, which my son affectionately receives and reciprocates the gesture. Although my son is speech delayed, he does have the ability of some speech, a limited vocabulary, but he does try his hardest to communicate with us with words.
Though his speech is delayed, I am grateful that from the 1 year that he has been in school, he has developed a bigger vocabulary than he had ever had or what he should have by this age. He is still unable to form more than a 3-word sentence together, but he does try very hard to communicate. He gets frustrated and we get frustrated too, but we keep working on it. We ask him what he wants, he points, we say the word, we have him repeat is, he says it, he repeats it again.
One word my son is VERY good at saying is "No" and "I can't". Great! Ha! On Friday, my son was being defiant and when he was being reprimanded, he ran into his room and shut the door on me so I couldn't get in. I managed to open the door, and he pointed at me and said "You" and then he pointed at the door and said, "Get out". I was in a bit of shock that he said that to me, but I admit I bit my lip to keep myself from laughing hard. I was just happy that he was talking. His saying "no" all the time is becoming wearisome, but he's managing to have interaction and a conversation with me (although, a defiant conversation at that), I'm okay with it. He's not the first 4 year old to say "no" back to their parents, so I'm dealing like any other parent would.
One thing that I'm VERY thankful for, is that my son longs for human touch. He loves to be around all of us, he loves hugs, he loves kisses and gives them right back. He loves to play with his sister and impatiently waits when she wakes up in the morning or from a nap so they can go create fun games together. I think in that respect, we are fortunate that should he be diagnosed or assessed as being Autistic, there are some traits that he doesn't have. Some characteristics of Autism is that they don't like to be touched nor held.
I woke up too early this morning and my usual one cup of coffee seems to have worn out. I washed/put away almost 6 loads of laundry this morning and I think I'm finally pooped. Thank goodness it's a 3-day weekend so my husband is home to help out today.
Well, until another time (or blog)...
Friday, February 16, 2007
DON'T Give me Bad News over the Phone, Lady!
Yay! A successful day at school. Whew! When my son has a great day, it means that I have a great day. No one knows what goes through my mind on a daily basis. No wonder the gray hair have been coming in. I would have to say that I have been scarred, traumatized by daycares and with my sons teachers. I guess today is a good day to talk about how we came to find out that our son might have special needs.
When my daughter was born, I was working for a while, but it turned out that the person watching our kids decided she could no longer watch both, but offered to watch my daughter if we could find a different daycare for our son. We found one, and as the first day scheduled to have him attend, he was there for not more than 3 hours and we got called to pick him up b/c he was upset beyond consoling and the first thing that came out of the daycare providers mouth was "I'm not a doctor, but I think your son is Autistic, you're going to have to pick him up".
WHAT KIND OF PERSON TELLS ANOTHER PERSON, especially when it's about one's child, OVER THE PHONE?? I know that there is NO *good* way to tell bad news, but how can one swallow that type of news? I had to drive over to pick him up, crying hysterically, shaking, and nauseous. That was a DARK day for us. We picked him up, got him home and immediately we made phone calls upon phone calls of where we would get any type of assistance in getting to the bottom of this.
We finally made it through the school district and got him assessed w/ a Speech/Language Therapist, then the school district psychologist and it was concluded that my son's primary concern was Speech/Language Impairment. He began attending Special Ed Day School in March 2006 and was w/ other kids who were also Autistic, but were in a more fragile state than my son. My son was very social and very coordinated as opposed to the other kids who cowered at my son's presence b/c they not keen on emotional and/or social aspect.
So now, every day, I have this wave of fear and or panic (even 1 year later) that overcomes me every day as to whether or not I am going to be called because my son had a meltdown at school and/or I have to pick him up. So, like I said previously, if my son has a successful day, it's a GOOD day for me too. I know that this can't be healthy to live every day in fear, but it's something I need to work through. I'm still trying to find a local support group for autistic parents, which I've been having difficulty finding.
This is my year to be proactive, as I probably sound like a broken record now, and I'm trying to get myself and my family as educated as possible.
I don't think my political affiliation is of any near importance to anyone, but I will say that I haven't been a Bush supporter for my OWN good reasons, but I DO have to hand it to him, for recently (as of Dec. 6, 2006) signing one of the biggest legislations for Autism research. It's a proud era for parents who are fighting the same fight, to assist us with children who fall within the Autism Spectrum.
Today is another day I fight, trying to find all resources that I can to educate myself and hopefully others in their quest to understand this.
When my daughter was born, I was working for a while, but it turned out that the person watching our kids decided she could no longer watch both, but offered to watch my daughter if we could find a different daycare for our son. We found one, and as the first day scheduled to have him attend, he was there for not more than 3 hours and we got called to pick him up b/c he was upset beyond consoling and the first thing that came out of the daycare providers mouth was "I'm not a doctor, but I think your son is Autistic, you're going to have to pick him up".
WHAT KIND OF PERSON TELLS ANOTHER PERSON, especially when it's about one's child, OVER THE PHONE?? I know that there is NO *good* way to tell bad news, but how can one swallow that type of news? I had to drive over to pick him up, crying hysterically, shaking, and nauseous. That was a DARK day for us. We picked him up, got him home and immediately we made phone calls upon phone calls of where we would get any type of assistance in getting to the bottom of this.
We finally made it through the school district and got him assessed w/ a Speech/Language Therapist, then the school district psychologist and it was concluded that my son's primary concern was Speech/Language Impairment. He began attending Special Ed Day School in March 2006 and was w/ other kids who were also Autistic, but were in a more fragile state than my son. My son was very social and very coordinated as opposed to the other kids who cowered at my son's presence b/c they not keen on emotional and/or social aspect.
So now, every day, I have this wave of fear and or panic (even 1 year later) that overcomes me every day as to whether or not I am going to be called because my son had a meltdown at school and/or I have to pick him up. So, like I said previously, if my son has a successful day, it's a GOOD day for me too. I know that this can't be healthy to live every day in fear, but it's something I need to work through. I'm still trying to find a local support group for autistic parents, which I've been having difficulty finding.
This is my year to be proactive, as I probably sound like a broken record now, and I'm trying to get myself and my family as educated as possible.
I don't think my political affiliation is of any near importance to anyone, but I will say that I haven't been a Bush supporter for my OWN good reasons, but I DO have to hand it to him, for recently (as of Dec. 6, 2006) signing one of the biggest legislations for Autism research. It's a proud era for parents who are fighting the same fight, to assist us with children who fall within the Autism Spectrum.
Today is another day I fight, trying to find all resources that I can to educate myself and hopefully others in their quest to understand this.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Meltdowns...
Today was a good day because my son had a successful day at school and played VERY nicely and didn't have (what the teachers have named his *bad* days as) any *meltdowns*. I can't explain to anyone who knows me well enough what I go through on a daily basis. I'm still in the process of figuring this out with the school district, but at his last I.E.P. (Individualized Educational Plan), they had shortened his school day from 3 hours a day to 2 hours a day. My son has a habit of running off and not *holding on the rope* and staying with his class. If he sees a chance, my son will run for it. So, even though he is in school for only 2 hours a day, I sit and wonder if I'm going to get a call from the school because they've had to tell him *no* and whether or not he started swinging at the teachers or not or knocking things down because he's upset... is a daily and constant worry of mine. He had a bit of a *meltdown* on Monday, but has had a somewhat successful time for the remainder of the week, with 1 day left to go before he starts a 1-week holiday from school.
Well, to go back a bit further, my son is in the afternoon session at school. There is one boy (*X* as I'll call him) who my son goes to school with who is a bit of a bully. *X* can be aggressive, mean, meddlesome but most importantly he is a child with special needs, so I know that he has his own challenges (like my son) to overcome and just shy of being 4 yrs old, is as tall as my son who is 4 and already considered very tall for his age as it is, and is a SOLID kid. I really do like *X* b/c he's a kid, like my son, who has challenges to be addressed and worked on. Every day when I drop my son off @ school, *X* comes and greets me and shows me what latest character or logo he has on his shirt. I tie his shoes b/c when I go to the school, it seems that his shoe is almost always untied and he lets me tie his shoelaces so he doesn't trip.
Anyway...it almost seemed that every time they were out on the playground (as I had to accompany my son every day to the playground to try to prevent him from running off) *X* was targeting my son at school. I'd send my son to school every day with his baseball cap on. As soon as the class hit the playground a game would ensue. His classmate would immediately grab my son's hat and then run for it and keeping it away from my son. My son was VERY passive and my son NEVER had a problem with sharing. It was never an issue with him. He was always glad to share and if kids would take his toys, he'd find something else to play with. Well, the game with my son and his classmate escalated and I even caught *X*slug my son across the face. As a mother or parent, that's VERY difficult to witness someone harming your child! So, I just went over there and told them that hitting was NOT good and told *X* to go see the teacher's aides and *X* was put into time out. Then, my son started showing signs of aggression back, from what I believe was his way of defending himself. I, then, stopped sending my son to school w/ a hat. But then, *X* just found another item that my son had to take from him and turn it into a *game* of keeping it from my son.
It then turned out that *X* was switched from the morning session to the afternoon session, w/ my son. Right when that happened, I noticed my son's behavior changed at school and at homewith his younger sister. And the *meltdowns* at school began. I finally put two and two together and noticed that since *X* was switched, the dynamics b/t *X* and my son was a chaotic one. I talked to my son's teacher and just decided to bring up what I felt what was going on and if she could please keep an eye on the both of them and to please observe the interactions b/t them and what she felt. At first, of course, she seemed a bit cautious of my observations, but I think over the past few months, I believe that she is seeing what I saw. My son and *X* are BOTH great kids. They DO like each other, but they do have some dynamics going on and I was told that they (the teachers) keep the two of them apart during certain activities b/c, at times, it does get chaotic b/t the two of them, and was told recently that *X*'s behavior has seemed to have worsen after being switched to the aft. class with my son.
But...having said all this...today was a GOOD day for my son. His best friend wasn't at school today, and so my son settled for *X* and it was a successful day. They played very nicely together w/out any *meltdowns*.
There are other things going on today that I could have done w/out, but I'm surviving it. My main focus is my son and his successes in every day life. Today was a good and successful day, and that is what matters!!!
Until another day...
Well, to go back a bit further, my son is in the afternoon session at school. There is one boy (*X* as I'll call him) who my son goes to school with who is a bit of a bully. *X* can be aggressive, mean, meddlesome but most importantly he is a child with special needs, so I know that he has his own challenges (like my son) to overcome and just shy of being 4 yrs old, is as tall as my son who is 4 and already considered very tall for his age as it is, and is a SOLID kid. I really do like *X* b/c he's a kid, like my son, who has challenges to be addressed and worked on. Every day when I drop my son off @ school, *X* comes and greets me and shows me what latest character or logo he has on his shirt. I tie his shoes b/c when I go to the school, it seems that his shoe is almost always untied and he lets me tie his shoelaces so he doesn't trip.
Anyway...it almost seemed that every time they were out on the playground (as I had to accompany my son every day to the playground to try to prevent him from running off) *X* was targeting my son at school. I'd send my son to school every day with his baseball cap on. As soon as the class hit the playground a game would ensue. His classmate would immediately grab my son's hat and then run for it and keeping it away from my son. My son was VERY passive and my son NEVER had a problem with sharing. It was never an issue with him. He was always glad to share and if kids would take his toys, he'd find something else to play with. Well, the game with my son and his classmate escalated and I even caught *X*slug my son across the face. As a mother or parent, that's VERY difficult to witness someone harming your child! So, I just went over there and told them that hitting was NOT good and told *X* to go see the teacher's aides and *X* was put into time out. Then, my son started showing signs of aggression back, from what I believe was his way of defending himself. I, then, stopped sending my son to school w/ a hat. But then, *X* just found another item that my son had to take from him and turn it into a *game* of keeping it from my son.
It then turned out that *X* was switched from the morning session to the afternoon session, w/ my son. Right when that happened, I noticed my son's behavior changed at school and at homewith his younger sister. And the *meltdowns* at school began. I finally put two and two together and noticed that since *X* was switched, the dynamics b/t *X* and my son was a chaotic one. I talked to my son's teacher and just decided to bring up what I felt what was going on and if she could please keep an eye on the both of them and to please observe the interactions b/t them and what she felt. At first, of course, she seemed a bit cautious of my observations, but I think over the past few months, I believe that she is seeing what I saw. My son and *X* are BOTH great kids. They DO like each other, but they do have some dynamics going on and I was told that they (the teachers) keep the two of them apart during certain activities b/c, at times, it does get chaotic b/t the two of them, and was told recently that *X*'s behavior has seemed to have worsen after being switched to the aft. class with my son.
But...having said all this...today was a GOOD day for my son. His best friend wasn't at school today, and so my son settled for *X* and it was a successful day. They played very nicely together w/out any *meltdowns*.
There are other things going on today that I could have done w/out, but I'm surviving it. My main focus is my son and his successes in every day life. Today was a good and successful day, and that is what matters!!!
Until another day...
Friday, February 9, 2007
The "DON'Ts" of a Special Needs Child...
Okay, the kiddies are keeping themselves entertained with Spongebob, so I have a few moments to jot down a bit more.
One thing I learned from one of the teacher's aides at my son's school is to DOCUMENT everything. All I can say to any parent, whether they have a special needs child OR not, is, DOCUMENT everything. I carry around with me a little date planner and jot down notes every day of in re: to my son's day at his school. Be it that he's had a good day, or an "okay" day, or any comments, brief conversation in passing that I may have had with his teacher or someone I've spoken to in the school district, or talking to someone about resources. When it comes to IEP's (Individualized Educational Plan - for those who don't know what an IEP is), it can be a life saver when putting your notes together before your child's IEP meeting.
Another helpful tip I learned was, DON'T SETTLE w/ what anyone tells you. Don't let the school districts bully you, or make you feel like you can't ask for some assistance. It is OUR rights as parents AND taxpayers to receive services that we and our children are entitled to!
BE proactive! DO what you can now. Like I mentioned in a previous blog...don't look back regretting what you COULD have done, when you were darned well able to do it now! I waited a year doing the *minimal* and I DO regret that I didn't do more.
DON'T be in denial. I was a bit in denial, I can admit that, because NO parent wants to hear that there is something wrong w/ their child. Again, I mentioned before, I was sad, depressed, angry. Don't fault me for my honesty because this is hard for a parent to experience and/or go through. If you have an inkling that your child may be challenged in some areas, START the process of getting him assessed as EARLY as you can. Lately, there's been so much coverage on the Autism topic such as on "The View". A parent on there said, START on intervention as EARLY as possible. It's TRUE!! What we do as of this moment, will affect our child's future as well as the welfare of the whole family. While not ALL children can be *cured* (and I take that word LIGHTLY), early interventions will benefit them in the future.
DON'T be afraid to ask questions. Don't be shy about wanting to know what your resources are.
This is all new for me too, but bit by bit, I'm learning and these are processes that I've gone through.
Ok, I've ranted long enough.
Until another day (or sooner)...
One thing I learned from one of the teacher's aides at my son's school is to DOCUMENT everything. All I can say to any parent, whether they have a special needs child OR not, is, DOCUMENT everything. I carry around with me a little date planner and jot down notes every day of in re: to my son's day at his school. Be it that he's had a good day, or an "okay" day, or any comments, brief conversation in passing that I may have had with his teacher or someone I've spoken to in the school district, or talking to someone about resources. When it comes to IEP's (Individualized Educational Plan - for those who don't know what an IEP is), it can be a life saver when putting your notes together before your child's IEP meeting.
Another helpful tip I learned was, DON'T SETTLE w/ what anyone tells you. Don't let the school districts bully you, or make you feel like you can't ask for some assistance. It is OUR rights as parents AND taxpayers to receive services that we and our children are entitled to!
BE proactive! DO what you can now. Like I mentioned in a previous blog...don't look back regretting what you COULD have done, when you were darned well able to do it now! I waited a year doing the *minimal* and I DO regret that I didn't do more.
DON'T be in denial. I was a bit in denial, I can admit that, because NO parent wants to hear that there is something wrong w/ their child. Again, I mentioned before, I was sad, depressed, angry. Don't fault me for my honesty because this is hard for a parent to experience and/or go through. If you have an inkling that your child may be challenged in some areas, START the process of getting him assessed as EARLY as you can. Lately, there's been so much coverage on the Autism topic such as on "The View". A parent on there said, START on intervention as EARLY as possible. It's TRUE!! What we do as of this moment, will affect our child's future as well as the welfare of the whole family. While not ALL children can be *cured* (and I take that word LIGHTLY), early interventions will benefit them in the future.
DON'T be afraid to ask questions. Don't be shy about wanting to know what your resources are.
This is all new for me too, but bit by bit, I'm learning and these are processes that I've gone through.
Ok, I've ranted long enough.
Until another day (or sooner)...
Just a Rainy Day...
What a day to fit the mood I've been in.
Still continuing on being proactive about everything. I sat and wallowed in my sorrow last year. But, I promised myself that this year would be different.
Upon returning to our old beloved health care provider (my husband's company was able to get the company back on to Kaiser Permanente), I immediately began making appointments for the kids.
I was horrible last year. Upon hearing that my son would possibly be Autistic, I went through a LONG mourning period of coming to grips with what that meant, doing what I had to do just to skate by. I could have done a lot more, but as I mentioned, I was going through my mourning period, afraid I might never recover. I was horrified with the pediatricians that we saw when we were under Blue Shield/Blue cross, and they were like car salesmen, rather than people who actually listened to their patients. We had discussed with one of the pediatricians that we saw the possibility that my son would be AD/HD, and he said that he could write us up a prescription if we wanted one. Can you BELIEVE that? W/out listening to us, he offered to write us up a prescription, like that was a cure-all to what we'd gone thru the past year finding out our son had special needs. I was distraught and hated the health group we were in, and proceeded to have my infant daughter lag behind with her immunization shots.
So, going back with what I said about being back with Kaiser again, I made appointments to find the kids primary physicians, get myself checked out as well and in the process found a Development Pediatrician.
We met w/ him, and it was the FIRST time that my husband and I felt like we were being listened to. We weren't just another family to him. He really listened and answered our questions and WOULDN'T give us a formal diagnosis because he believe that our son would need to have a more thorough assessment. Even though the news wasn't great, it was hopeful and the Development Pediatrician was just overall a blessing to us.
Again, last year I was going through a mourning period. I was crying, wallowing in the "what if's" and "hoping that" and I said that this year would NOT be about "what if's", it would be about "what NEEDS to be DONE and what I am going to do about it".
My husband took the news to heart and it pained me to see him upset, but I felt that I had been the one who wasn't strong last year, and this year was my time to be strong...for all of us. We were referred by the Development Pediatrician to the Kaiser Autism Clinic. We're in the process of filling it out so we can send it off.
I could write and write about everything, but I'll try to save it for another blog.
It has been such an overwhelming experience and I commend all parents out there with special needs children. We're not alone, even though sometimes we feel like we are. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not the ONLY parent out there in the world who is going through this. I know every day a parent is finding out for the first time that their child might have a challenge that needs to be addressed. It is hard to have friends (mostly ones without kids and ones who do, whose children are not special needs children) b/c sometimes they just don't know the heartache, the worry, the depression, the anger, the blame, the mix of emotions that we go through as parents. They DO know, but at the same time they don't know the extent of everything. We keep our chins up in public, when we're secretly breaking inside, but one thing my husband has always told me was that it is important to never let the kids see us like we can't keep it together. NOT saying to act like we're devoid of any real emotion, but to make them feel that we're ALL okay and not to let them worry. Kids are very sensitive and aware of their parents, so I agree it is important to show strength in addition to love when it comes to kids. We are, after all, our kids role models.
What I hope to accomplish by journaling this is hopefully give some insight to people who have friends or know of people who have a child who has special needs to what a parent goes through.
Until another day...
Still continuing on being proactive about everything. I sat and wallowed in my sorrow last year. But, I promised myself that this year would be different.
Upon returning to our old beloved health care provider (my husband's company was able to get the company back on to Kaiser Permanente), I immediately began making appointments for the kids.
I was horrible last year. Upon hearing that my son would possibly be Autistic, I went through a LONG mourning period of coming to grips with what that meant, doing what I had to do just to skate by. I could have done a lot more, but as I mentioned, I was going through my mourning period, afraid I might never recover. I was horrified with the pediatricians that we saw when we were under Blue Shield/Blue cross, and they were like car salesmen, rather than people who actually listened to their patients. We had discussed with one of the pediatricians that we saw the possibility that my son would be AD/HD, and he said that he could write us up a prescription if we wanted one. Can you BELIEVE that? W/out listening to us, he offered to write us up a prescription, like that was a cure-all to what we'd gone thru the past year finding out our son had special needs. I was distraught and hated the health group we were in, and proceeded to have my infant daughter lag behind with her immunization shots.
So, going back with what I said about being back with Kaiser again, I made appointments to find the kids primary physicians, get myself checked out as well and in the process found a Development Pediatrician.
We met w/ him, and it was the FIRST time that my husband and I felt like we were being listened to. We weren't just another family to him. He really listened and answered our questions and WOULDN'T give us a formal diagnosis because he believe that our son would need to have a more thorough assessment. Even though the news wasn't great, it was hopeful and the Development Pediatrician was just overall a blessing to us.
Again, last year I was going through a mourning period. I was crying, wallowing in the "what if's" and "hoping that" and I said that this year would NOT be about "what if's", it would be about "what NEEDS to be DONE and what I am going to do about it".
My husband took the news to heart and it pained me to see him upset, but I felt that I had been the one who wasn't strong last year, and this year was my time to be strong...for all of us. We were referred by the Development Pediatrician to the Kaiser Autism Clinic. We're in the process of filling it out so we can send it off.
I could write and write about everything, but I'll try to save it for another blog.
It has been such an overwhelming experience and I commend all parents out there with special needs children. We're not alone, even though sometimes we feel like we are. I have to keep reminding myself that I'm not the ONLY parent out there in the world who is going through this. I know every day a parent is finding out for the first time that their child might have a challenge that needs to be addressed. It is hard to have friends (mostly ones without kids and ones who do, whose children are not special needs children) b/c sometimes they just don't know the heartache, the worry, the depression, the anger, the blame, the mix of emotions that we go through as parents. They DO know, but at the same time they don't know the extent of everything. We keep our chins up in public, when we're secretly breaking inside, but one thing my husband has always told me was that it is important to never let the kids see us like we can't keep it together. NOT saying to act like we're devoid of any real emotion, but to make them feel that we're ALL okay and not to let them worry. Kids are very sensitive and aware of their parents, so I agree it is important to show strength in addition to love when it comes to kids. We are, after all, our kids role models.
What I hope to accomplish by journaling this is hopefully give some insight to people who have friends or know of people who have a child who has special needs to what a parent goes through.
Until another day...
Monday, January 29, 2007
To Say a Little Bit More
I'm still not going to introduce myself, as many of you out there probably care very little of who I am anyway.
Today, has been a strange sort of day. First time I managed to ruin dinner and had to start over from scratch with a whole new recipe. Blah! My mind is obviously set on more important issues rather than feeding myself with unneeded calories.
Hope that this 2nd dinner turns out decent.
Today, has been a strange sort of day. First time I managed to ruin dinner and had to start over from scratch with a whole new recipe. Blah! My mind is obviously set on more important issues rather than feeding myself with unneeded calories.
Hope that this 2nd dinner turns out decent.
A Fight worth Fighting
I'll introduce myself on another day. What's most important is NOT who I am, but WHAT I am. What am I? I am a parent whose child has special needs.
It is a bit of a lengthy story, and again, that's a blog for another day, but what I do want to say is that I'm optimistic. As I told my friends the other day. Don't feel sorry for me or for my family. There is no need for anyone to be sorry. I am choosing NOT to cry over this. Last year was the time for crying and feeling sorry for myself. This year, it's not about what's wrong, it's about *What's going to be done about it*. I don't want to live my life in regret and blaming myself for things I *could have* done, knowing I have the ability to use what I know and can to do what needs to be done.
We're off to a good start. There will be good days and bad days, but the main thing to remember is that today is today and to focus on that. I feel great today. Tomorrow is another day and will worry about tomorrow, well, tomorrow!
I'm not a great writer. Never intend to be a Pulitzer or Nobel winning writer. I don't have great grammatical skills. I'm writing from the heart, and to me, that's what's most important.
I'm keeping this journal, blog, what-have-you, as my own testament to what type of strength I have. I hope to look back and feel like I've conquered what I needed to do.
It is a bit of a lengthy story, and again, that's a blog for another day, but what I do want to say is that I'm optimistic. As I told my friends the other day. Don't feel sorry for me or for my family. There is no need for anyone to be sorry. I am choosing NOT to cry over this. Last year was the time for crying and feeling sorry for myself. This year, it's not about what's wrong, it's about *What's going to be done about it*. I don't want to live my life in regret and blaming myself for things I *could have* done, knowing I have the ability to use what I know and can to do what needs to be done.
We're off to a good start. There will be good days and bad days, but the main thing to remember is that today is today and to focus on that. I feel great today. Tomorrow is another day and will worry about tomorrow, well, tomorrow!
I'm not a great writer. Never intend to be a Pulitzer or Nobel winning writer. I don't have great grammatical skills. I'm writing from the heart, and to me, that's what's most important.
I'm keeping this journal, blog, what-have-you, as my own testament to what type of strength I have. I hope to look back and feel like I've conquered what I needed to do.
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